It wasn't as if they didn't love me...

In early childhood I was met with parental pressure to be more sociable with other people, since I had just immigrated to the United States. From early on it was difficult to adjust to a new environment because of the language barrier. In addition to the language barrier I'd trouble communicating with people I've never met before. Furthermore, since I was still a new student, I had a even harder time connecting with other classmates as they already had their own friend groups. Since I was still learning english communication with other people was still difficult for me. Through these experiences I felt pressured to comply to their level of expectations.

It wasn't the fact that they didn't love me, it was more so encouraging me to connect and or to communicate with others to express myself. Being more sociable was to aid in developing long-term relationships with other people. The parental pressure to become more active in socialization motivated me into slowly developing interpersonal skills. For example through presenting a community service project on illegal dumping with a group of 10 other people besides myself, I gained experience in communicating my ideas and working as a group to complete the presentation. Even though the pressure was difficult to manage, being able to gain the ability to build long-lasting relationships with other peers.

Another experience where I had to deal with parental pressure, was with my academic performance. During the pandemic, where the majority of people were stuck inside their homes, many students had to switch from in person learning to online learning. After almost a year of doing online learning, it took a while for me to adjust to in-person learning.

Parental pressure became a constant presence during my daily life, ultimately becoming a major factor for me with making decisions. The persistent pressure that I was left to deal with, left me with trying to overcome the concept of perfectionism. The pressure eventually led to the build up of a sense of failure and anxiety. As it continued, it took a toll on mental health.